Illa - Maa the Legend

(This was my entry for Write India- TOI for Amish Tripathy)

Ofcourse I din't win. Anyways enjoy :)

Close to the city of Paithan, in a small village called Sauviragram, which lay along the banks of the great river Godavari, lived a woman named Ilaa. Being cotton farmers, her family was well to do, but not among the richest in their area. It was the harvest season, and cotton had to be picked from the plants. The wholesalers and traders from Paithan would be arriving in just a few weeks, carrying gold and goods for barter. They would exchange what they carried for the cotton that the farmers grew. The bales of cotton had to be ready in time! Work was at its peak!

But Ilaa was not to be found in the fields. She wasn't working. Instead, she was sitting by the banks of the great river Godavari.

'I am sick of this!' she grunted loudly. Their crop had failed. The lightening in the night burnt the entire harvest. It was a sign of the turn her fortune had taken. But what bothered her more was the restlessness of her being.More than the richness of the gold Ilaa valued the goodness of soul and these days she felt lost. Gazing at Godavari and taking a dip in the holy water would bring tranquility to her. But it was the first time the purity of Godavari could not penetrate Ilaa’s soul. She felt hollow. Did she have any soul left? That night’s ghosts still lingered her halo and she could not fight anymore. She indeed was sick. They said the river to be the cure of all sickness. Physical and mental. But this, she could not understand. She felt physically nauseated and mentally exhausted with the constant battle going on inside her head. As she dipped her head to cleanse her whole self  an unwanted gospel in a young voice echoed her thoughts:

These days when despair sprinkled it’s seeds on my body

These days when child’s tears found their way to my soul

These days when there is nothing left in my mind

Except the fantom deep notorious ghosts

These days when I have lost all the tears of mine 

In a Barter with Dead to trade my life 

With a time where it is Bliss and Pure

Where there is no dross of the dirt

collected through the unwanted weeds

That too in a Barter with Gloom to trade my life

With a time where there is no dirt, no soil

No Love, No Toil

And with Nothing to loose and Nothing on my mind

With Nothing to poke this stillness inside

For me to feel the air so serene 

With all untouched and nothing touched

I sigh and I cry with no one to see

The invisible tears of fact and fantasy

These days when I…

The memories of that night flashed so vividly that she lost breath in the water. She felt she was drowning in water so dense that it engulfed her. She could hear the screams of the young bride. She felt her legs paralysed and in the next moment she was sinking low in the thick water. She lost consciousness. She was at peace.

Ilaa had always been a strong lady. Full of power, charisma and a bit of enigma defined her presence. Twenty years back on the day of her wedding, she transformed from Devi to Maa. Hailing from Jalan, she possessed an air of mystery. It was this riddle which attracted Shiva to him. On reaching Sauviragram after her wedding she felt at home. The gleam on her face multiplied each day and people started believing in her magic. People came from far off lands to free themselves of pain physical and mental. She could help the meek and purify their Karmic accounts. Make them understand their misery and provide them strength to deal with it. She could lift off the clouds of gloom hovering over fortunes. She could bridge the gap between the land of mortals and immortals. She emitted peace. She belonged to the moksha-tiratha — a pilgrimage centre from where the soul could be liberated from a shackled existence, Paithan. 

Gradually, the word spread. Paithan, the city famous for Ila the gender changing king became the oasis for the dried souls who seeked protection of the mother. Maa could understand their problems,help them with the rituals, give them hope, instil happiness and ultimately become their saviour. In return people paid gratitude to Maa by their offerings . But as years passed by Ilaa, grew older and her gleam faded. Her word was getting weak and the enigma became mist. She lost herself with each passing day. Getting lost in the trance way too often. She stared longer than usual. Breathe heavier than required and the words spoken became a mumble. The belief which pillared her presence, faded with each unsatisfied soul visiting her and her legend seemed to die. 

Shiva was a modest labourer. In the beginning, both lived a blessed life. Being cotton farmers, the income initially was barely sufficient but gradually with the offerings Maa received they managed to make both ends meet quite comfortably. But as they say there is no end to the greed of man. Shiva got caught in the web of materialism and made a profession out of Ilaa’s magic. Now as Ilaa’s trance started to die so did their income. Shiva had given-up agriculture but now returned to tilling land to earn bread.His temper rose higher with each passing day with frustration about his “doomed”destiny. He blamed Ilaa for the misfortune that was upon them.Eventually Ilaa to succumbed to Shiva’s consistent calling for her to give a hand with him on the farm. Ilaa committed herself fully to the orders of Shiva but now nothing could please him. He mocked Ilaa’s beliefs and called it a humbug. Daily abusing and maltreatment resulted in Ilaa’s further depreciation. Her glow further diminished and her body became pale. Maa who was the comfort abode for all could not find a place for herself. She did not belong anywhere. The immortal havens have left her alone and the mortal world was too brutal. She struggled between the two begging each to let her in, but facing rejection all along.

It was night of the wedding. Shiva, in his cupidity decided to marry Vidhi. A young child of twelve and hoped to acquire more land for a bigger harvest and thus greater money. Ilaa was against it from the beginning.She understood how the life of the child would be ruined in brutal barter for a piece of land. Others thought it was her own insecurity which made her oppose the marriage. Anyhow, Vidhi entered the dysfunctional family of husband her father’s age and his wife his mother’s. 

On the wedding day Ilaa, noticed the innocence, fear and the hollowness in the little child. She felt an instant connection and the urge to embrace Vidhi. She felt as if a known soul has come to fill her again with feelings that have long left her. Extending her hand in a loving embrace to the child Illaa asked “ Are you scared?”
It was the first time since the ceremony anybody had talked to Vidhi. Left alone by her parents in an unknown house she was terrified. Vidhi said “ I miss my parents but they say this is my new home and the old uncle my husband. His desires are my commands. But I miss my friends, my village and my mother even more” Illaa was heartbroken by the chastity of little Vidhi. Illaa said “what is your mother like?” 

Vidhi said, “ It has been long since I saw her. One day she went to the river to fetch some fish to cook for me. It was the last I saw of her. She never returned. Instead father brought another lady in the house and asked me to call her Amma. But I know she is not ‘my’ Amma.”

Ilaa’s heart sank further. She felt the need for her to take care of Vidhi, embrace her, hug her, mother her. But she knew of her helplessness in front of Shiva. It had been long that she had surrendered herself to him. To go against him seemed almost impossible but the urge to help Vidhi burnt higher.

It was the night Shiva had to consummate. Illaa was terrified by the thought. She had do something. She rushed to the head priest Kawale. He was a wise man and still a believer of Maa in Ilaa. The consistent pleading made him believe Ilaa’s cause and he decided to help her. Before the act Shiva took Vidhi to the temple to offer prayers. Kawale convinced by Illaa’s arguments decided to intervene. He told Shiva, “ according to the nakshatra, the month is inauspicious for consummation of his marriage to Vidhi. Bad fortune would be upon him if done otherwise.” Shiva, a little shocked said, “ I want the marriage and the fortune to work and if waiting is what it takes to do that, I am ready”.

Relived now, Illaa soul was at peace but the fear of the impending doom struck her time to time. The only silver lining to her otherwise gloomy life was Vidhi. She filled Illaa with the emotions she felt were inexistent. She brought a new energy to the tired soul Illaa now possessed. Vidhi and Illaa were now inseparable. Illaa took her to the fields, fed her, played with her,slept with her,cleaned her, taught her and told her stories about world and beyond. She told Vidhi of the circle of souls. How each soul changes costume with new birth. Karma and Sanskaar of each soul accompanied it with the new costume. The balance of Karma had to be maintained for the Universe to be stable. Once the debt of Karma is paid the soul is liberated from the mortal world. Vidhi listened to Maa rapt in attention. Understanding, observing and contemplating. In just one month, both became each other’s life. Always seen together giggling, laughing, playing and embracing each other.

The dark night arrived. The rain poured shyly with crashing brutal lightening filling the horizon time to time. Shiva saw Vidhi with eyes full of lust. Illaa  stood unmoved in front of Vidhi trying to get grasp of her before Shiva. He roared abusing Illaa and told her to get out of the way. Illaa held Vidhi in her arms ran at the door. Red with anger, Shiva charged furiously, held Illaa by her hair and dragged her to his feet. Pulling her inside to the house. Vidhi’s screams filled up the entire night. Begging, to leave her Maa alone. Shiva ignored all the pleading and dragged both of them to the room. Illaa prayed Shiva to leave Vidhi and told him to take her life if he wants. Shiva thundered, “Shut up! You liar. I know you conspired to fail my marriage. It is because of you that this catastrophe is upon us. The crops this year have died and the only way to undo all the sins is to consummate. Vidhi will bring me an heir. A son to carry on my name. A son to help me in the field. A son ! This must be done and now you’ll watch it happen.” Shiver ran down Illaa’s spine. Shiva took Vidhi and started the act. Screams, agony and begging and pleading filled the air but nothing left Shiva unmoved. Vidhi kicked ,screamed and looked at Maa with resenting eyes but nothing could stop Shiva. Illaa stood in disbelief. She felt ‘this’ brutality is unreal. She found the screams coming from a far off land. A land filled with fury, rage, anger and lust. Shiva continued, fought the resistance until Vidhi laid unmoved in a pool of blood creating a dark red nimbus around  her pale body. Her eyes found peace and her breath lost. Ilaa rushed to the child, felt her nerve. Vidhi was dead and Ilaa a living dead.

            The fellow villagers rescued Ilaa out of the water. When she gained her conscious back she was in her house. She saw Shiva’s face and felt the fury in her. She charged with full vigour at Shiva, her eyes red with fury and her body possessed an unknown power. She was in a trance. Her burning eyes pierced Shiva’s conciousness. Frantically she found a knife kept on the side of the char poi and stormed towards Shiva. He had never seen Illaa like that. Scared he pleaded for mercy. Begged her for forgiveness. Illaa ignoring all the petitions, thundered and stabbed him on his stomach, raged; again she stabbed him on his heart and again and again until he lay in the pool of blood. Illaa dipped her hands in his blood and wiped it on her forehead. 

At last peace descended her.